The two of you may be compatible in many things – choice of reading material (old National Geographic magazines), preferred Saturday night activity (Netflix and Scrabble), gym workout (boxing) and predilection for spicy ramen. But there are some things that keep couples from enjoying each other’s company at night: their incompatible bedtime routines and sleeping behavior.
It’s not uncommon for couples to have different nighttime and sleeping habits. One may enjoy watching TV late at night while the other can’t sleep if there were lights on. Or one may have a nasty habit of hogging the blanket or snoring loud enough to wake up the dead.
Because of this, it’s also common for one or both to not have enough sleep and get up from bed not only sleep-deprived and irritable but also annoyed with or resentful of their partner. Not a good way to start the day, and damaging for the relationship.
Times like these, it may probably be a good idea for couples to ditch the conjugal bed and sleep in separate beds or bedrooms. Sleep experts even say sleeping apart can spice up the relationship. The concept is nothing new – nearly one in four married couples sleep separately, according to the National Sleep Foundation. So if you find yourself in the following situations, it’s time to talk to your partner about getting a sleep divorce.
Your partner snores
If you can’t go to sleep or wake up from sleep because your partner makes a racket, better sleep in another room.
You prefer a different mattress
If your partner likes a soft, cushy mattress but you prefer a firmer one and you can’t agree on a mattress that would work for the both of you, it may be a good idea to invest in two mattresses instead of one. That way, you can both sleep comfortably.
Your sleep routine doesn’t match your partner’s
You prefer complete darkness or silence; your partner likes sleeping with the TV or lamp on. It’s either you move to the couch, or your partner does.
You partner hogs the bed…and the blanket
Co-sleeping means not only sharing the same bed but also the same blanket. If you or your partner is the type who hogs the bed by sleeping like a snow angel or diagonally and steals the blanket from the other person, you can keep the peace by sleeping apart.
You have a different daily schedule or circadian rhythm
Many couples differ in work schedules, which affect sleeping times. One person may also be a night owl while the other is an early sleeper who wakes up with the sun. To avoid disturbing the other person’s sleep, consider sleeping in another bed or room.
It’s a misconception that sleeping apart is a sign of trouble in paradise. If you are not comfortable or are unable to sleep well with a partner in the same bed, it makes sense to sleep apart. It will not only be good for your physical health but your mental and emotional health as well. With enough sleep, you wake up refreshed, focused and happy. If you stay in separate bedrooms, sleeping apart can even make you excited about seeing your partner.
There will always be opportunities to spend quality time and be intimate with your partner. A loving, healthy and happy relationship isn’t determined by your sleeping arrangements, after all.